Child development can be confusing and daunting, especially for first-time parents. As your child grows, you’ll likely experience tantrums, mood swings, and in some cases, problematic behavior. However, the real issue comes up when parents don’t know how to communicate with their children so that they actually listen. So, you may be asking yourself, how to talk so little kids will listen? Are there any particular questions to ask kids so you uncover what’s going on inside their minds? Fortunately for you, we’ve gathered up the top five ways to talk to kids. By the end of this article, you’ll learn how to correctly talk to them without compromising your authoritative status while at the same time, remaining friendly and loving.
Of course, if your child still doesn’t listen to you after implementing some or all of these tips, you may want to consult with a professional. If you’re in the area, a trained and reliable pediatrician in Miami Fl is a great choice for you.
Without further ado, here are the 5 best tips to talk to kids.
What are the Different Child Development Stages?
Before learning which questions to ask kids and how to talk to kids, you’ll need to educate yourself on the five child development stages. Depending on which child development stage your kid is in, you’ll need to adapt the language and the topics you discuss with them. For example, it’s common sense that you can’t expect a newborn to understand what you’re saying. So here are the five child development stages:
- Newborn (initial two months of life)
- Infant (Up to 12 months)
- Toddler (Up to 3 years of age)
- Preschool-age (Between 3 and 5 years of age)
- School-age (Between 6 and 17)
When it comes to infants, you can talk to them through gestures. Infants between nine and twelve months may start to point at things, crawl, and imitate sounds.
Toddlers, on the other hand, can understand simple words such as “bye-bye,” “mom,” “dad,” “yummy,” etc. So the key with toddlers is to use simplistic language.
Preschool-aged children can speak complete and long sentences, and the language skills should be fully developed when they reach school-age.
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen?
Now that you’re aware of the different child development stages, let’s discuss the most effective ways to talk to them. It’s also important to realize that the way parents talk to kids greatly impacts their ability to listen and learn. Remember, parents are continually modeling how to behave and act to their kids.
In essence, there are three ways parents talk to kids. These are the aggressive style of communication, the passive style of communication, and the assertive. The first one involves yelling, putting children down, and using offensive words. When you talk to them in this way, children tend to act out, feel scared, yell back, or ignore the order of the parent. This communication style can also lead to child depression.
The second style involves using cautious words and softer tones. Unfortunately, it’s common for children to walk all over a parent that uses the passive form.
Whereas the assertive style is consistent, positive, firm, clear, and confident. Out of these three styles, the assertive one tends to be the most effective in getting a child to listen. However, assertive communication is a skill some are born with, while others need to learn and practice.
So, this brings us back to the question, how to talk so little kids will listen? These tips below will help you not only talk effectively with little kids but may also improve your communication with school-aged children. Let’s dive in.
- Always try to use positive language.
Try to minimize the use of “don’t,” “no,” “you can’t,” etc. For example, when you use phrases such as “no running in the house” or “don’t break the glass,” your child will do the opposite and break the glass. Instead, try using phrases such as “please, only walking inside” or “careful with that glass, it’s special.” Also, remove ridiculing words from your dictionary, such as “you’re being a big baby” and shaming like “I was so ashamed with you yesterday.” This type of language will make your child feel worthless. Instead, talk to them by saying things like “thank you for helping me clean” and “you tried so hard today, but I know you can do even better next time.”
- Use your kid’s name.
One of the best ways to talk to kids and get their attention is to use their names. For instance, you can say, “Mary, please get me the…” or “Luke, lunch will be ready in 10).
- Use eye contact to connect with your child.
Another great way to talk to kids is to establish eye contact. This is an excellent technique to show your child that you listen to them. If you have a smaller kid, you may need to kneel to see them eye-to-eye or sit at a table.
- Give them suggestions and alternatives.
A fool-proof way to get your kids to cooperate is to explain to them why something needs to be done and how they will benefit from the activity. For example, you can talk to kids by saying: “When you’ve brushed your teeth, you can go outside and play” or “Which book do you want to read, the purple or the red one.” You can give them alternatives so they feel like they have choices (even if there is zero or minimal room for negotiation). This technique is great if you have a picky eater. You can say something like “do you want scrambled or hard-boiled eggs?” or “which piece of fruit do you want, purple or green?”.
- Ask them open-ended questions.
You may be curious, what questions to ask kids? It’s simple, try open-ended ones like “Really?”, “What about,” etc. Questions like this help open the child’s mind and think more. So when it comes to questions to ask kids, stick to those that aren’t answered with “yes” or “no.” For example, instead of asking, “did you like the birthday party?” you can ask, “what was the most fun part of the birthday party?”. The latter question will give you a more detailed answer, and it will show your child that you are interested in their response. Remember, there are millions of questions to ask kids, you just need to spark their imagination!
How to talk so little kids will listen? Be patient, considerate, but at the same time clear and firm. On top of all of this, when your child is speaking to you, try not to interrupt what they’re saying. Also, make sure you make the conversations with your children a top priority. Unfortunately, it’s easy to get caught up in work and other responsibilities outside of your family life.
Remember to stay present during your conversations. Believe us; the children will remember the smallest talks, even if they seem minor to you.
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Some parents find talking to their children stressful and challenging. If you’re one of them or just need helpful tips from skilled experts, book a consultation with us today.
